Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in x_a_n_d_r_a's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, September 16th, 2007
5:57 pm	school... has consumed my life, it seems as if i have no time for anything else except for sqeezing in a meal or two and a few hours of sleed a  night. im thinking about switching out of my ap english class, its honestly jsut to much work for me to do with the other classes im taking. this whole not having a social life thing is not working out for me. I have decided to take this upcoming weeked to go down to altamonte and see everyone, since seeing you all on thursday made me realize how much i miss and love you guys. Look to the sky
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
9:36 pm	teenage romance damn, that hurt A LOT. forgive me if I fall off the face of the earth for a while. This ones gunna take a loooong time to get over. Look to the sky
Monday, June 4th, 2007
10:32 pm	I'm terribly homesick. I miss everyone so much, only 11 more days. South FL use to be the highlight of my summer, now i dread being down here for two months. someone save me. Look to the sky
Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
6:44 pm	guilty? not really yeah, I lied. but I dont care. shesadumbhoanyways. =] Look to the sky
Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
10:40 pm	oh well oops! This wasn't supposed to happen...=/ Look to the sky
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
5:10 pm	accept it I've been out of school or a day and a half and my summer is already gotten toattly crazy. I've realized something in the past couple of days, there are some things in life you just have to accept, whether its That the cancer is terminal Youre someones dirty little secret People will judge you before they know you The doctor cant always tell you whats wrong That you need to move on, he'll come around That shes no you That his guy freinds like you better than her, even if he doesnt know it That to someone your always going to be the ex, or the bad guy That your ex's sometimes walk back into your life, and that you still care about some of them That your relationship is real, and always will be That you'll love eachother no matter what Or That being best friends before anything else is the best thing for you. life is crazy sometimes. Current Mood: confused Current Music: none 3 shooting stars ¬ Look to the sky
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
11:19 am	=] I have the best friends in the world. I'm so in love with them. I also have the greatest boyfriend in the world. This weekends turning out to be pretty amazing. p.s. rebecca- i'm so glad we have things to talk about again =]. i loved that you droped by on Friday night/ saturday morning. lets start making it a regular routine kay =] Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: here comes the sun::the beatles 1 shooting star ¬ Look to the sky
Monday, March 19th, 2007
10:38 pm	GAH! I wanna crawl under a rock, seemes like the more I try to make things better, the worse they become. Look to the sky
Saturday, March 17th, 2007
7:36 pm	I love getting back in touch with old friends, it feels good.  I hate when people you know become people you knew. Look to the sky
Friday, March 16th, 2007
3:30 pm	i love my boys!!!! they take good care of me =]. Look to the sky
Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
5:38 pm	I'm not ashamed of the dirty little secrets.... He told me last night that he picked her over me, which really came as no suprise to me. I'm completely heartbroken, but i cant stop him, and he deserves a chance with her, a chance to be happy. The only reason ti was her, is because he cant trust me. He told me hes giving this oppurtunity as friends to gain it back. I'm really glad about that, I hope that i do gain it back, and well maybe have me second chance one day. In a sense im like really really happy that were just friends, because i've opened up to him more, and hes opened up to me more, and I really want to get to know him better, and let him get to know me, but that still doesnt change how much it hurts. It sucks to know hed rather have riped my heart out of my chest and broken it than hers, but if he did pick me id feel so guilty cause she doesnt deserve that hurt, and after how much i messed things up, no matter what anyone says, i believe its karma. I'm glad hes still in my life, and that he is still going to live with me, and im glad to know that he still loves me, because well, I still love him. I trust he made the right decision. I love how my life went from comfortably idle with him, to a rollercoster.  But this time instead of screaming, im gunna enjoy the ride. Current Mood: confused Look to the sky
Monday, March 12th, 2007
3:34 pm	she doesnt know When it rains, it pours. I love guys like Chase Jon and Andrew who scream out angry breakup songs with me to make me feel better. 1 year 2 weeks 4 days. Thursday-  Sway told me he needed a break, dang that sucks. He told me hes not sure how he feels about me anymore and he needs some time to figure things out. Saturday- Taste of Chaos (which was amazing).  I bought him a ticket as a birthday present.  I spent the majority of the concert by myself, because he had a show, and then came over after he was done. We were just hanging out watching 30 seconds and then i turn around to ask him if we can move closer, and he kisses me, like really kisses me, and it was like that for the rest of the time we were at the concert. Then we go out to eat at midnight after, and he tells me there's someone else in the picture now. That someone would be Karen, Chris (His bassists) younger sister. What sucks worse was I was starting to become friends with her, and now she hates my guts because i hurt him(I swear it wasn't my intention, and i would never do ti again) and because she wants him.The worst part is i knew there were feeling there before he did, before he told me. I should have said something when i knew, but I trusted him.  So now hes trying to decide who to be with. and let me tell you, I have quite a disadvantage. I'm pretty sure hes gunna pick her. Shes never hurt him before, hes has that butterflies in you tummy feeling you get when you first like someone towards her, and shes ten time prettier than me. I didn't mean to hurt him, but i did, and hes not sure how he feels about me. He told me last night that he DOES love me, just not enough to act upon. I'm not gunna quit fighting for him, because I love him and hes worth it. Awesome, I'm about to loose the one person that I am tottaly and completely in love with. Were kinda friends with benefits, even though I hate that term, and I woulden't let him unless I knew that there were feeling that there were feelings there, otherwise he would be leading me on. She doesn't know he lives with me. She doesn't know we've slept together every night since we've been on a break. She cant love him like I do, or care for him like I do. Hes supposed to tell her today that we live together...i'm sure that's gunna go fantasticly. I remember when I was freaking out when he showed up at my house with flowers and gummy bears and kissed me. Now I'd give anything for him to do that.  I'm so jealous of every phone call he giver her/she give him, of every text message, every moment she with him and i'm not, and i'm not ashamed to be jealous. worst feeling ever= being so in love with someone who doesn't love you back. I'd give anything, ANYTHING, to have him back. I'm scared I wont get that chance. I wish this didn't hurt so bad. Current Mood: broken Current Music: brand new- seventy times 7 Look to the sky
Sunday, January 14th, 2007
11:00 pm	16 I'll be 16 in an hour! =] Current Mood: excited 1 shooting star ¬ Look to the sky
Monday, July 10th, 2006
10:08 am	=/ Parents make things so complicated.... Look to the sky
Friday, July 7th, 2006
3:23 am	POTC2 so its 3:30 am and I just got home from seeing POTC2 with a few freinds, it was fkking amazing. tomorrow Rebecca comes and stays with me for like 10 days, that tottaly makes my summer. TBS concert is in 6 days. I'd write more, but im not awake enough to do that. so maybe tomorrow. I'm going to bed i have to wake up at fkking 7 in the morning for work. ♥ Current Mood: tired Current Music: Cara laughing Look to the sky
Thursday, June 29th, 2006
10:04 am	fkking internet my internet is down at my house so i havent been on in forver, im at Taras and just checking the lj and myspace, I think my moms gunna buy a new computer cause the one we have pretty much sucks. I have a hella lot to say next time i log on and update, but that is for another time, not now. later loves. Look to the sky
Friday, June 9th, 2006
10:56 am	2 more days =] ONY 2 MORE DAYS UNTILL I GET TO SEE SWAY AND REBECCA!!!!!! you guys have no idea how happy that makes me. Yesterday and just about every other day ive been at my mommys ive been down to the beach, its so beautiful. We watched some sea turtles lay eggs last night at the beach, it was pretty awsome. I think im going to the beach again today, now sure yet, and tonight having a small gathering of friends before i leave tomorrow for my dads for a week. I'm starting to get a pretty nice tan.=] I just thought ofs eeing Rebecca and Sway on Sunday and i squealed really loud and everyone looked at me lol. Me and Jon are gunna have a hangout day next week, i really miss that boy alot, and after everything weve been through, im really glad were still friends. I better get started on chores and get a shower so I can go out later. love love love Allie Current Mood: awake Current Music: Allys and Tara laughing Look to the sky
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
4:25 pm	its finally summer!!!!! SCHOOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER, SCHOOOL'S OUT FOR EVERRRR!!!! Today was my last day of school =] so far its been amazing, I might be in Altamonte tomrrow, so for those of you who would like to see me, be at the mall kay. Im off to attempt to wak Rebecca and Lyn up from our nap. I'll update about my so far amazing 5 hours of summer later. <3 Allie Current Mood: crazy Current Music: some random Lyn mix 1 shooting star ¬ Look to the sky
Saturday, March 25th, 2006
2:33 pm	its almost over.... ♥ Sway so Sway, you know you taste so good. ♥ Springbreak is comming to an end. Its a bittersweet thing, I dont want it to be over because I dont want to be back at school, but then again I cant wait to see Becca and others. Yesterday was sucha good day, I went shopping and got like 6 new shirts more eye makeup a uber cool hat a new screne printing set(to make shirts and jeans) and a few other things. WEnt to go see straylight run and the spill canvas, but I only stayed to listen to the spill canvas, they were amazing as usual. Cara was there, it made me so happy to see her...but...well theres always somehting going on with me and her. She started flirting to much, not to say that I wasnt enjoying the attention but it just felt wrong. I sat down and told her that I couldent do this anymore and that I'm with Sway now. The look of dissapointment on her face killed me, but honestly I'm sick of her on again off again flings with me. The I like you lets go mess around then a week later she has a boyfriend and when shes done with him comes running to me and we have a few on again off again flings then she goes to Cali messes with some boy, comes back and I have a boyfriend. I'm threw with it I mean in the end all we ended up doing was messing with eachothers hearts and thats not cool. I'm sure she will be over it soon, at least I hope she is, I know what I told her really hurt her, which really hurts me cause she is such an amazing girl and I'd hate to lose her. I need to find someone to hook Becca up with so she can get her mind off of boy. I love her to much to see her like this over him, she can do so much better. Tara's on her way over and were going to make alot of shirts a few skirts and jeans to sell, maybe tie-dye a few shirts and some bed sheets...anyone interrested in buying them?? get back to me on that. I applied for my summer job today, working over at the Jupiter Marinelife Center taking care of the sea turtles =]. I think I'll really like that job since I really would like to study marinebiology, I'll get to clean the tanks and the turtles, feed the,m and help them with the medical needs (since all the turtles there are rescue turtles). I'm excited about it, Im gunna see if Tara wants to apply to so we can work together, that would be uber fun. I'm going to the brass ring tonight with Tara =] I've been craving it all week, you have no idea how happy this makes me. Today is Sways birthday =], wish I was up there so I could at least see him on his birthday...anyways ♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWAY!!!! ♥ I'ts also my brothers birthday so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON!! I gotta get back to making shirts now <3333 Alexxx Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Emanuel::Make Tonight 2 shooting stars ¬ Look to the sky
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
8:46 pm	Allie Always has the best parties! =] ♥ She is Beautiful, but she doesn't mean a thing to me ♥ Today was one of those days where I'm not quite sure why I got out of bed. My birthday party at palm beach was this weekend. It was awsome, even though I had to share it with Bran and Calvin. Cara was there, and I am now completely over her. I did what I said I was going to, kiss her and move on. When I did I realized something, there was no spark no nothing, and I knew that were never going to be anything more than frineds, which is okay with me. I felt bad when I had tell her all this cause she's had a crush on me since summer, but I think she now realizes that theres nothing there between us anymore, and we should just leave it as friends.We're cool now and I feel alot better =]. Anyways here's some pictures from mine and Cals birthday party, and a few pictures I took at Blowing Rocks Beach. Me and my Bitches ♥ Me and Calvin the birthday boy and girl =] Andrew giving Cal some love... Tara kicked Timmys ass!!! Andrew got caught. Chris, Eric, and Tyler my niggas!!! Um yeah Keenan's weird. The Palm Beach Crew. Dr. Publix anyone? Who's up for some pool? "Just get it right between my arms!" And this is why you dont do drugs lol The walkway down to Blowing Rocks Iuno why but I just love this picture of my sister. Shes such a cutie. ♥ Xandra Current Mood: tired Current Music: Stay Together For The Kids 1 shooting star ¬ Look to the sky